Posts — meditate

I feel like for a big portion of my life I’ve suffered from identity issues and the feeling of not fitting in or being accepted. I grew up in the Bronx around Jamaicans, Haitians, Dominicans, and African Americans. For us we just knew, even as kids, that although our cultures had some differences our roots were the same. It wasn’t until I moved to Florida that my skin, hair, and race became a clear issue. That comfort of being accepted as who I was deep down without any explanation started to melt away. I either wasn’t Black enough or White...

I was first introduced to meditation several years back and dove right into it. Not really.  I remember sitting with one eye open looking around praying for it to be over. I wondered why it wasn’t working. Why am I not experiencing immediate peace and serenity? I did have one eye closed which meant I was meditating, right? After a few minutes, I would finally close both eyes and the questions/thoughts would come rushing in; “How long do I need to do this for? What results should I be looking for? Maybe I should blow dry my hair today?  Geez those birds are chirping mighty loud...